God is good

What else can I say except that God is good. He is faithful and he loves me. It's hard to fathom that God would choose to love me even when I feel unlovable. Even when I mess up, he still loves me. I can not wrap my mind around that, but the Bible says so.

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39

Moving to a new city is hard. It's hard to adjust to a new culture. It's hard to step out and make new friends. I am so thankful for God's blessings in my life. He meets us where we are at and chooses to bless us. Though starting something new is hard, it is worth it. God is in this place.

So I want to take a moment and say "Thank You." Thank you, Abba Father, for loving me. Thank you for the beautiful things you place in my life each and every day. Thank you for each breath that you give to me. Thank you for my family. A family that loves me and supports me. Thank you for my friends, new and old, near and far. Thank you for using them to show me your love, for challenging me to do better, to be better. Thank you for providing me with enough. All that I need is in you, I 'm learning more about that each and every day. It is not my strength but yours. Thank you, for being bigger than I can ever fathom. Thank you for your unending love for me.

Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth. 1 John 3:18

Honesty. Day 4

You know what's a bad idea? Going to the grocery store when you haven't eaten dinner. Right? That's always a bad idea. So first graders, I hope you enjoyed those apples this morning and that you now understand the fraction of one fourth.

I have decided to start small by giving up one meal a day for these 21 days. I'm also fasting sweets and caffeine. Which is really hard when your first grade students bring you chocolate... But this is a decision that God has led me to, a sacrifice to make more space for him. To help regain control of food instead of it controlling me.

But right now, I would really like a warm, delicious cup of coffee.
Just thought I would be honest.

Humble. Day 2

"If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land." II Chronicles 7:14

A photo from camp a long time ago but it reminds me of a time of truly seeking.

 This evening I have spent looking up every verse in the Bible that deals with fasting that I can find.I have discovered that people fasted for many reasons. For healing, in mourning, in times of praise and worship. They fasted and prayed to intercede for other people, their kingdoms and their land. They fasted before blessing people and sending them into ministry. 

They fasted to show humility. 

By denying their physical bodies the things it desired, they were opening up their hearts to receive a spiritual nourishment.  Some of the websites that I have been looking at call fasting the ultimate form of humility. Now, I'm not sure if that is true, but fasting does bring humility. It brings a new understanding to the flesh and things that are Earthly desires. It clarifies how weak our bodies are.

"Man does not live on bread alone." 

How many times have I heard that verse and not understood? Because, I have lived my life on bread alone. God desires to be my true nourishment, but I have denied him of that when I fill myself with other things. Sometimes I feel so far away from God and I wonder where has he gone, but then I look at myself and think, "in what way have I even made room for God?" I fill my life with all of this stuff that I think I have earned or that is rightfully mine, but I leave no room for Christ. I decide what comes and goes. I decide what I do each day. I decide what I eat. I decide what I read. I decide what I watch on TV. I decide how much time I will spend reading the Bible. But where in all of those decisions do I have room for what God desires for me? When my life is so busy and so full, I have no room. 

        No space. 

This evening, I didn't turn on the TV. I resisted that desire to fill the emptiness with a busyness from the world around me.  It would be easier to give up food if I could fill it with something else to keep me busy, but that is not what fasting is about. It's about taking that time to spend it in prayer. To spend it making room for Jesus and letting him in. 

So tonight I practiced being humble.

I took sometime to seek God's face. 

After all, fasting without prayer is just a diet. And I want this to be so much more than a diet. I desire to see God in a new way. I want to make room for Him in my busy life. 

Truly make room. Not just pretend make room.You know what I mean right? Not just the "make room" on Sundays or before meals when I pray or the 10 minutes before going to bed. But to make room in all areas. By giving up something of myself so that He can fill it. When I give up something that I desire it is not to bring myself glory, but it is to teach my body that God is the creator and sustainer of my life. Nothing else will do. Nothing else will do. 

Hungry. Day 1

Today I accepted the offer of Pastor Steve Ferguson to join in a corporate act of fasting. Family Worship Center, the church that I have been attending, is participating in a 21 day fast. After praying and doing some research, I have discovered that the Bible had a lot to say about fasting.
So tonight, I will go to bed hungry.  Praying that this experience will guide me closer to my savior. I want to share my experience with you, mostly to give myself time to reflect, but also to encourage you. Maybe I will learn something that will inspire you, change you, as well as change me. I am going into this time expecting and believing that I will leave this experience different than when I began. I believe that God desires for us to pray and fast and seek him, and so that is what I am going to do.
So, now I will go to bed hungry. Reminding myself that God is the thing I should seek and desire, not food.