Sing we must

I have the sweetest students, absolutely adorable little gifts from God. This year I promised myself that I would not be so consumed with my lessons, plans and standards that I would not take time to listen to my students.
I have one little sweetie that came to me last week and said "Miss Nygaard, I would like to sing you a song that I made up. It's not done yet, though." So sing she did. Her voice was soft but sweet as she sang about a melody that swings from the trees and falls around her. It was absolutely beautiful. She smiled when I told her how proud I was that I was able to hear it. She timidly asked me if she could sing it for the whole class. I let her. The class clapped and one of the other girls in my class said "I can't wait to hear more of your song" As she returned to her seat so looked at me and said "Miss Nygaard, even when I'm not singing and there isn't music I can hear that song in my heart." I promptly told her that God has given her a melody to sing, so sing she must. I will never forget that smile.
That day I was busy. I had 21 other students doing 21 different things in all places of the room. I had objectives to reach, tests to give and papers to grade. But I'm glad that God reminded me to take the time to listen to my students. Sometimes the greatest lessons don't come from my lesson plans but instead come from a 6 year old girl with a song in her heart.
God has given each of us a song to sing. So sing a new song of praise and remember how loved you are.

Power of Observation

I watched my favorite episode of the show "Joan of Arcadia" tonight. Joan is a teenage girl who is sent on missions by God. God appears to her in many different forms and asks her to do things that make no sense at the time. In this episode, god asks her to invite the school bully to a school dance. After criticism from her parents, friends and the whole school, Joan did what she was asked to do. All she was asked to do was observe and listen. She was the only person who even gave him a chance to be someone other than what they saw. Often people live up to the expectations that are set for them. But what if those expectations are simply negative? What if all anyone expects you to do is fail and hurt people? Then what hope do you have in the world?

"Observation is a more powerful force than you could possibly reckon. The invisible, the overlooked, and the unobserved are the most in danger of reaching the end of the spectrum. They lose the last of their light. From there, anything can happen"  -Old Lady God (Joan of Arcadia)

 When I watch this show I wonder what it would be like to have God show up and ask you to do things. But then I think, he does. Sure he doesn't always show up as the bus driver, janitor or an old lady as he does in the show, but he does ask us to do things. He does ask us to observe, be present and notice. He does ask us to hang out with the marginalized, just as he did when he talked with the woman at the well, went to the tax collectors for dinner and asked some fishermen to follow him. God is always with us. But can we recognize his voice?

I admit I struggle with it.
                                   I struggle to hear his still small voice. 
                                                           It's hard to recognize a voice unless you have spent time listening to it. 

When Joan took time to observe and listen, she changed peoples lives. At the end of the episode, nothing would be considered "right" by our standards. People had their feelings hurt, guns were pointed and one person ended up in jail, yet by listening to God, Joan was able to change many lives. She stopped a school shooting because she took the time to see someone for who he really was and not for who others perceived him to be.

Though I might not stop a school shooting and speak to God face to face, there is power in observation. There is power in looking someone in the eye, recognizing that they are human. Recognize that they are created by God. Loved by God, just as I am loved by God. I am not more worthy of his love and grace than anyone else. Stop and see the people that are stuck on the outside, not included. The people that think they have no where else to turn because they are tired of being judged. These are the people that Jesus would have invited in, the ones that Jesus would have ate with. The ones that I am called to love.

Notice. Listen. Observe. Love.

Pray.

Spring Cleaning

I've had a whirlwind of events happen over the past few weeks. It was a blast going to watch my brother at his bowling tournament in Fargo. I enjoyed spending time with my mom shopping. (what we do best!) And after just 2 short days of teaching I was headed back home for spring break. I was able to ride shotgun this time next to the ever lovely Ruth Ashton. :) We enjoyed our adventure with the addition of some Shamrock shakes and sweet tunes.
Spending a week at home was refreshing. I did minimal amounts of school work which was great! Until Sunday night and I realized that I had no idea what I was teaching the next day. But I'm such a fabulous teacher that I walked in Monday morning and taught the whole day with no catastrophes. ;)
After a crazy week preparing for conferences and meeting with all of my fabulous parents, I was finally able to breath a little bit and enjoy a Friday with friends.We played some competitive games, enjoyed snacks and had a good time.

This weekend I spent about 5 hours at school on Saturday and 2 today in the hopes that I can enjoy my Easter break and maybe read a book just for fun (GASP!).

Even through all of the chaos, God has been able to tug at my heart and teach me. The scripture that keeps on reoccurring is from Luke 21:1-4. It is the story of the widows offering.

 ¹ As Jesus looked up, he saw the rich putting their gifts into the temple treasury. ² He also saw a poor widow put in two very small copper coins. ³ “Truly I tell you,” he said, “this poor widow has put in more than all the others. ⁴ All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth; but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on.”

I keep hearing..."it's not about how much you give, it's about how much you have left." Wow. I realized how easy it is to avoid the poverty around me. I can simply live in my world of comfort with my own car, laptop, tv, and a fridge full of food. With each commercial, I realize how much I don't have. (or so I think) But in all reality, there are people that will go to bed hungry tonight. Families will go to bed tonight with no idea if there will be food tomorrow. But I think that I can't give any money because, I don't have a lot. It's true, I don't have a lot of money. There are days when I'm not sure if all of the bills will get payed. But then I remember the times I went out to eat, that new shirt I bought, the extra groceries I just purchased and God shows me how selfish I am. I know that God desires for us to take care of the widows and the orphans and I also realize that looks different for every person. But the reality is, sometimes that turns into an excuse doesn't it? We say, well it looks different for everyone... true. But shouldn't it look like something in your life? Shouldn't your life look different as you understand the command to go and make disciples? 

So, I open my eyes to see the world around me. God help me love people the way you love them.

Sometimes there is just so much clutter in our lives, so much extra junk that we get too distracted to see that God is trying to teach us something. I hope that you can take some time to do a little Spring cleaning! Make room to hear God's voice in your own life.

Changes.

It seems a little crazy to me that 2 months ago my life was completely different than it is now. Two months ago I spent most of my time alone or at school working. I had friends but they were all people I worked with (or Hannah).
In an hour I'm going to be heading to Strive which is a group that a friend and I started for college and 20-somethings. We wanted it to be a place for young people to be able to hang out and become friends and also learn and grow spiritually together. Because of this group, I have people I can call and hang out with "just because."  You know the saying "you never realize what you have until it's gone?" Well, I didn't really realize what I was missing, until I found it again. I missed having friends. Being able to just sit and talk with someone about nothing in particular. I had almost forgotten what it was like to have more than 2 people to call to hang out with. :)

Friends at a "coffee shop." In quotes because it's really more of a restaurant than coffee shop.

Also, I've started volunteering at my church's youth group. It's an interesting mix of people and I forgot what it was like to interact with high schoolers. I also forgot how similar they are to first graders. Seriously!  I guess we never really change, huh?
Moving is difficult. Making new friends is hard. Becoming connected with a new community is challenging.  But God is faithful through it all.

I just like this photo.

To all my friends far away... I miss you. Don't be afraid to call me "just because."
To all my new friends...I'm so glad we are friends. 
And to my old friend, who is still by my side... I don't know what I would do without you.

God is good

What else can I say except that God is good. He is faithful and he loves me. It's hard to fathom that God would choose to love me even when I feel unlovable. Even when I mess up, he still loves me. I can not wrap my mind around that, but the Bible says so.

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39

Moving to a new city is hard. It's hard to adjust to a new culture. It's hard to step out and make new friends. I am so thankful for God's blessings in my life. He meets us where we are at and chooses to bless us. Though starting something new is hard, it is worth it. God is in this place.

So I want to take a moment and say "Thank You." Thank you, Abba Father, for loving me. Thank you for the beautiful things you place in my life each and every day. Thank you for each breath that you give to me. Thank you for my family. A family that loves me and supports me. Thank you for my friends, new and old, near and far. Thank you for using them to show me your love, for challenging me to do better, to be better. Thank you for providing me with enough. All that I need is in you, I 'm learning more about that each and every day. It is not my strength but yours. Thank you, for being bigger than I can ever fathom. Thank you for your unending love for me.

Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth. 1 John 3:18

Honesty. Day 4

You know what's a bad idea? Going to the grocery store when you haven't eaten dinner. Right? That's always a bad idea. So first graders, I hope you enjoyed those apples this morning and that you now understand the fraction of one fourth.

I have decided to start small by giving up one meal a day for these 21 days. I'm also fasting sweets and caffeine. Which is really hard when your first grade students bring you chocolate... But this is a decision that God has led me to, a sacrifice to make more space for him. To help regain control of food instead of it controlling me.

But right now, I would really like a warm, delicious cup of coffee.
Just thought I would be honest.

Humble. Day 2

"If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land." II Chronicles 7:14

A photo from camp a long time ago but it reminds me of a time of truly seeking.

 This evening I have spent looking up every verse in the Bible that deals with fasting that I can find.I have discovered that people fasted for many reasons. For healing, in mourning, in times of praise and worship. They fasted and prayed to intercede for other people, their kingdoms and their land. They fasted before blessing people and sending them into ministry. 

They fasted to show humility. 

By denying their physical bodies the things it desired, they were opening up their hearts to receive a spiritual nourishment.  Some of the websites that I have been looking at call fasting the ultimate form of humility. Now, I'm not sure if that is true, but fasting does bring humility. It brings a new understanding to the flesh and things that are Earthly desires. It clarifies how weak our bodies are.

"Man does not live on bread alone." 

How many times have I heard that verse and not understood? Because, I have lived my life on bread alone. God desires to be my true nourishment, but I have denied him of that when I fill myself with other things. Sometimes I feel so far away from God and I wonder where has he gone, but then I look at myself and think, "in what way have I even made room for God?" I fill my life with all of this stuff that I think I have earned or that is rightfully mine, but I leave no room for Christ. I decide what comes and goes. I decide what I do each day. I decide what I eat. I decide what I read. I decide what I watch on TV. I decide how much time I will spend reading the Bible. But where in all of those decisions do I have room for what God desires for me? When my life is so busy and so full, I have no room. 

        No space. 

This evening, I didn't turn on the TV. I resisted that desire to fill the emptiness with a busyness from the world around me.  It would be easier to give up food if I could fill it with something else to keep me busy, but that is not what fasting is about. It's about taking that time to spend it in prayer. To spend it making room for Jesus and letting him in. 

So tonight I practiced being humble.

I took sometime to seek God's face. 

After all, fasting without prayer is just a diet. And I want this to be so much more than a diet. I desire to see God in a new way. I want to make room for Him in my busy life. 

Truly make room. Not just pretend make room.You know what I mean right? Not just the "make room" on Sundays or before meals when I pray or the 10 minutes before going to bed. But to make room in all areas. By giving up something of myself so that He can fill it. When I give up something that I desire it is not to bring myself glory, but it is to teach my body that God is the creator and sustainer of my life. Nothing else will do. Nothing else will do. 

Hungry. Day 1

Today I accepted the offer of Pastor Steve Ferguson to join in a corporate act of fasting. Family Worship Center, the church that I have been attending, is participating in a 21 day fast. After praying and doing some research, I have discovered that the Bible had a lot to say about fasting.
So tonight, I will go to bed hungry.  Praying that this experience will guide me closer to my savior. I want to share my experience with you, mostly to give myself time to reflect, but also to encourage you. Maybe I will learn something that will inspire you, change you, as well as change me. I am going into this time expecting and believing that I will leave this experience different than when I began. I believe that God desires for us to pray and fast and seek him, and so that is what I am going to do.
So, now I will go to bed hungry. Reminding myself that God is the thing I should seek and desire, not food.